How Do You Measure a Year in the Life? at 12:38 AM

So I just bought the new RENT DVD. The last performance on Broadway was filmed.

Now, if you knew me in high school...I was on the whole RENT hype when it came out, thought it was amazing. And I still do. It means more to me now than it did four years ago, and I understand what the show is trying to say. To live for today. Yes, you do have a future...and yes, you have a past. But they are not something to dwell on. The hope is that you live every day of your life like it is your last, and just enjoy it. A few of my favorite quotes from the musical are:

"Give in to love...or live in fear"

"There's only us, there's only this. Forget regret, of life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way, no day but today"

"Let's find a bar, so dark we forget who we are, all and all the scars from the nevers and maybes die"

"There's something I should have told you, when I looked into your eyes. Why does distance make us wise? You were the song along"

Yes, the show is pretty EMO. But...I do think it sends a strong message that many people can relate to. I personally have been listening to the soundtrack nonstop since I watched it ago :D. Check it out if you haven't seen it.

Thoughts at 3AM at 3:44 AM

I feel that I try too hard sometimes. Too hard to hang out with the in crowd, too hard to fit in...and no matter what, I'm still left behind sometimes..most times actually. I feel like I'm reliving high school.

I also don't know how to say no. No matter how much I might not like someone...if they ask me a favor, I don't have the heart to say no. And I don't know why.

Call me emo...call me foolish...whatever you may say, it still doesn't stop what I feel. The hurt, the confusion. Try being the one that people forget about.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I decided to just hibernate, to be a hermit for one week...even just one day. Would anyone notice? Would anyone care? I know I usually do if I notice...but I don't know if it'd be the same if we switched roles.

Who knows. Tomorrow's another day. Another day to go about my business, and do what I do. Hopefully I can just get through it with a smile, genuine or fixed, on my face.